In this episode I sit down with writer and thinker Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*, to explore why so many of us spend our twenties chasing the wrong things. We reflect on our own stories of living by “shitty values” like status, approval and pleasure, and how those choices quietly shape our relationships, careers and sense of self.
Together we unpack what it really means to build a life around better values, how to handle regret without drowning in shame, and why growth is less about fixing yourself and more about choosing better problems to care about.
What We Cover
- Why “shitty values” feel so attractive in our twenties and how to begin auditing your own
- The difference between the values you say you have and the ones you actually live by
- How to invite honest feedback, build friendships that call you out and avoid surrounding yourself with enablers
- Mark’s framework for good versus bad values and why chasing success, status and pleasure leaves life feeling hollow
- Responsibility versus fault, and how taking ownership after setbacks and breakups restores your sense of agency
- Why failure, uncertainty and rejection are essential ingredients of growth rather than signs that something is wrong with you
- How to care less about the wrong people’s opinions and more about what you are willing to be disliked for
- Using mortality and the reality of limited time to decide what truly deserves your attention and how to choose better problems
By the end of this conversation, you will have a clearer lens for examining your own values, a more honest relationship with your past mistakes, and practical tools for shifting your focus towards problems that genuinely matter over the long term. If you found The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* helpful, I think you will enjoy hearing Mark expand these ideas in a deeper and more personal way.
If you want to explore more of Mark Manson’s work, you can visit his website or connect with him on Instagram. His books The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*, Everything Is Fcked* and Love Is Not Enough offer deeper dives into the ideas we discussed today.
- Intro (00:00:00)
- Rethinking Your Younger Self (00:02:05)
- What We Get Wrong About Values (00:05:36)
- Time, Maturity, and Self-Deception (00:08:09)
- The People Who Hold Up the Mirror (00:12:07)
- When Culture Points Us the Wrong Way (00:15:44)
- The Making of an Unlikely Bestseller (00:21:03)
- “I’m Enough”… But Am I Really? (00:38:38)
- The Five Counterintuitive Values (00:44:50)
- Responsibility Isn’t Blame (00:50:41)
- Living With Maybe (00:56:23)
- What ‘Not Giving a F*ck’ Actually Means (01:01:45)
- Seeing Life Through a Finite Lens (01:11:53)
- Why Boredom Still Matters (01:20:32)
Key quotes
“There’s too much virtue signalling in the world as it is. This is about genuinely feeling better about the life we’re living.” – Simon Hill
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More about Mark Manson
Mark Manson is a three-time #1 New York Times Bestselling author. His most well-known work is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, the mega-bestseller that reached #1 in fourteen different countries. Mark’s books have been translated into more than 65 languages and have sold over 20 million copies worldwide. He also runs one of the largest personal growth creator brands in the world. Often described as “self-help for people who hate self-help,” Mark’s contrarian approach to personal development has struck a chord with people around the globe, amassing an audience of millions. With more than 15 million yearly blog readers and 1 million subscribers on MarkManson.net, Mark has become one of the largest and most successful independent publishers in the world. His YouTube channel, where he broadcasts documentary-style videos for over 2.5 million engaged global viewers, grows daily. And his The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast, having crossed over 20 million downloads one year into production, doles out Mark’s no-BS brand of life advice on a weekly basis to hundreds of thousands of listeners. Mark’s writing has also appeared in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, TIME Magazine, Forbes, The BBC, CNN, and Vox, among many others. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife Fernanda.
